smooregruver

So much to say, and yet so little. I’m tired, but it’s a good tired. A happy tired. A fulfilled tired. More and more I love the verse in Luke(2:19) that says But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. It tells me so much; that even Mary, the mother ofContinue reading

I was angry when I wrote that last entry(now deleted). Hurt, wounded, angry. Now I am simply tired. I’ve been at the track, then at work, listening to the litany of crimes a daughter has committed. Lies and deceit and disobedience and manipulative and the mother just wants to throw in the towel. I amContinue reading

And it’s alright Yeah, I’ll be fine Don’t worry about this heart of mine Just take your love and hit the road Cause nothing you can do or say You’re gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go

Another day.Another newspaper article with a face I know all too well.This time it was David Cady. 25 years old; quiet, intelligent, peaceful, murdered.Shot three times.Dead.How is it even possible? So young, so alive, with so much promise, now so senselessly dead.David, the last person in the world you’d expect to be murdered, was shot toContinue reading

I learned several very important things yester-evening at the Chemung County Fair:#1: I may be hick, but I’m not that hick. #2: Middle aged women should not wear tube tops. Ever. There are things that I can live forever without seeing, and that’s one of them. #3: I’m not a fan of cows. I attribute thisContinue reading

I had a nightmare this morning.I dreamt I was married–which in itself doesn’t make it a nightmare, just an impossibility. I couldn’t see my husband’s face, only feel him…his warmth. Dirt underneath ragged fingernails. The smell of concrete. And then I realized we were not married yet, but that we would be, someday, in some world.AndContinue reading

I just wanna be mad for a while.

Bless the beasts and the childrenFor in this world they have no voiceThey have no choiceBless the beasts and the childrenFor the world can never beThe world they seeLight their wayWhen the darkness surrounds themGive them loveLet it shine all around themBless the beasts and the childrenGive them shelter from a stormKeep them safe KeepContinue reading

I am tired. And weary. If it wasn’t for my kids right now; if it wasn’t for their eyes that have seen so much more pain than my own, if it wasn’t for their joy in the face of unspeakable heartbreak, if it wasn’t for the consistent reminder they give me that we are soContinue reading

This is my town.