And so.

I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, with a very annoyed doctor who rather brusquely informed me that I, personally, am an idiot.

Just in case I was wondering.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I once again ignored all the signs and let my B12 levels drop drastically, to the point where I was happily considering jumping off a bridge.  I blissfully ignored the mouth sores, exhaustion, tingling in my hands and feet, reduced sense of taste, altered sense of touch, irritated tongue, muscle spasms, heart palpitations, and increased psychological symptoms, and went on with my happy life.

“You are the only person I know,” my doctor(actually it was the physician’s assistant) said grumpily, “Who will ignore every single symptom until someone drags you in here kicking and screaming.”
“I can’t be the only one,” I said.
“Oh, yes, you are,” he replied.

Apparently, pernicious anemia can kill you, or, even worse, render you permanently insane.  And I should never have stopped the shots last summer.

“But the bloodwork said my vitamin levels were where they should be,” I pointed out.

“Yes,” he pointed back, “Because you were taking the meds! And now you’re in the later stages of pernicious anemia because you were an idiot and stopped the medication!”

Oh.

I’d like to pretend my doctor actually cares about me, and that’s why he was so upset, but I think it had more to do with an emergency appointment, and the fact that I’m in there so much that if I die, he’ll lose fifty percent of his yearly income.

He also shared with me the lovely fact that, apparently, if your vitamin B12 levels are low enough long enough, you, in fact, develop irreversible depression and psychosis! What fun!

Fortunately that shouldn’t happen–though, depending on just how bad the tests turn out, I may need blood transfusions– and though it will take three months to bring my levels up to where they should be and make sure there was no permanent damage by my “idiot lapse”, they stuck me in the arm and I was smiling six hours later.  I even went out, got my hair done, my eyebrows waxed, and Rachel and I went out for lunch.

And tonight is another one of her bridal showers, this time at my grandmother’s, and I am, in fact, looking forward to it.  I love my family, all my crazy, dysfunctional, insane family who make my life so much fun. 

February 18th approaches…and rumor has it my brilliant cousins Erica and Tami will be here for it.(Erica, my dad always held you up to me as an example of “really, really smart”, so I always attach the adjective “brilliant” when I think of you)  I’m really loosening up about this whole thing–yes, I think my sister is making a mistake, but she is, after all, my sister, and if it all goes bad, it will be my number she’s calling.

And if, hopefully, I’m wrong, then this will be the happiest day of her life, so I’m just shutting my mouth and smiling for her.

In other news, I discovered that the Watkins Glen school district will pay me $95 a day to sub. Good Lord in Heaven, I can afford to live again…